CG's Bichon Frise Puppies - Reno, NV. - Private Breeder

 
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Dear Dogs and Cats: 
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.  
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.  Placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim
for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically 
pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a 
racetrack.  Racing me to the bottom is not the object.  
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.  I am very 
sorry about this.  Do not think I will continue sleeping on the 
couch to ensure your comfort.  However, Dogs and cats can actually 
curl up in a ball when they sleep.  It is not necessary to sleep
perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent 
possible.  I also know that sticking tails straight out and having
tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing 
but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by 
some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut,
it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or
get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door.  I 
must exit through the same door I entered.  Also, I have been using 
the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is:  Kiss me first, then go smell the other 
dog or cat's butt.  I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message 
on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN 
ABOUT OUR PETS:
 
(1) They live here.  You don't.  
(2)  If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture; 
      That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.  
(3)  I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.  
(4)  To you, they are animals.  To me, they are adopted sons/daughters 
       who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
       Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 
       eat less,  don't ask for money all the time, are easier to  
       train, normally come when called, never ask to drive the car, 
       don't hang out with drug-using people; don't smoke or drink, 
       don't want to wear your clothes, don't have to buy the latest 
       fashions, don't need a gazillion dollars for college and:
   
IF THEY GET  PREGNANT YOU CAN SELL THEIR CHILDREN